Alaska: Season in Review

So with only 3 weeks left in the Alaskan cruise season, I feel like I’ve mentally moved on. But briefly, I want to look back on a successful season and toss out some grades, some awards, and maybe even a tidbit or two. This isn’t going to be organized in anyway, so just deal.

Passengers: D-
Proudly boarding the Rhapsody of the Seas, week after week, were the people that insist on giving Americans a bad name. Overweight, and under-educated, these guests, mainly from Middle America and somewhere past middle age, paid like crazy for their all-you-can-eat vacation, and believe me, they made the most of it. Other words that come to mind: Boorish, Brainless, Obese (Exceptions go out to Emily, Evynne’s Family, Benny’s Family, and basically anyone who came on the ship who happens to be reading this. I’m sure you were in the minority…)

Ports of Call: B-
We’ll put my Alaskan bias aside for a minute and just try and call it straight. There was amazing hiking, a glacier that I basically lived on, decent eats and free wi-fi. Not to mention that the majority of the ports get a bonus for being in the US where I could use my cell. Points deducted for lack of wildlife, lack of intelligence, and Canada.

The Trevor Davis Award for most Embarrassing Moment:
(If you need to know why this award is named after Trevor Davis, I would be happy to explain) No, I want everyone to just know. Basically boils down to a lack of bladder control during a performance of “Company” at USC a few years back; basically, the pinnacle of embarrassment; crowded theater, everyone looking at you, pee.
Anyway…mine’s not that bad comparatively. But here’s the story:
During a rehearsal I decided it would be a good idea to tie a piece of magenta mylar around my head. Other than the color…it was pretty legit. I looked like Johnny from the Cobra Kai in Karate Kid. It was tight. Anyway…it was all gravy until later in the day I took off my headband. The band had stained a pink line right across my forehead. But of course I didn’t find this out until I had walked around Juneau all day long and had made a fool of myself several times along the way. The picture above shows the pink line. Recognize.
(Apologies to Trevor Davis if he’s reading…but I mean…it happened)

Interesting number: 3
When I first told my Uncle Jim that I was going to be working on a cruise ship the first thing he said to me was, “I wonder how many people die on cruises.” I thought it was a really weird thing to say. But so far the answer on my ship is 3. Sad. But true. RIP

Getting Money: A+
Getting paid every two weeks has been a highlight of this cruise. I’m spending it all. But it’s cool making money and then buying toys that I’ve been wanting for a while. Shout out to my new computer, camera, studio rig, and suit.

Saving Money: F
I promise to work harder in the Australian Season.

Overall Grade: B+
Everything in life has its pros and cons. (Take for example the Philadelphia Eagles…get it?) But I feel like this job for me has had the most clearly defined upside and downside of any job I’ve ever done in my life. But I am incredibly happy that I decided to take the journey and am looking forward to the rest of the trip and some sweet new places and some interesting new stories and experiences. But am really excited to come home eventually. Been missing a bunch of you people.

The Payson-Lewis award for best blog:
Paysonlewis.blogspot.com

dpl